Tyler Clemeti, was by all accounts a fairly shy freshman at Rutgers University. He may or may not have been gay, but we know for sure that he had at least one sexual encounter with a man. How do we know that? Well after the spy video that his roommate and another student made was released to the internet it became a matter of public record. Tyler had sex with some guy. Surely he thought it was a private thing, but there it was on the internet and would always define him.

This seems to be the proximate cause of his suicide by jumping off of a bridge. This is what the so-called “family values” conservatives railing against the “radical homosexual agenda” leads to. Yesterday I posted a slightly light-hearted look at what they claim this agenda is. The reality is that they don’t want any cultural acceptance of gay folks. It all comes down to that, they want to be able to use gay people as a stalking horse for all the ills of society.

I am pretty sure they don’t think about the consequences, but situations like Tyler Clementi’s suicide are a direct result of this shaming and relentless vilifying of gay citizens. Think back to when you were 18 or 19 or 20. Do you remember who desperate you were to be cool? How you were not sure what the world would hold and just finding out that you really had the choice to be who you are, as scary as that thought can be?

Now imagine what is must be like for those who are gay or bisexual. Gay jokes are everywhere. People are called fags if they don’t conform to the norm, regardless of their sexuality. There are still some kids in this younger generation who are not accepting of gay people being openly gay. For all that polls show there folks under 25, as a group, don’t care if gay citizens marry or serve in the military openly, there is still a good size portion of this population who has bought into the lies and vilification of gays and is not shy about speaking out about it.

In the Declaration of Independence Thomas Jefferson wrote “We hold these truths to be self evident, that all men are endowed by their creator with certain inalienable rights, chief amongst these are Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness” at the time it was a radical idea. Today Conservatives think that our gay citizens wanting to redeem this promise for themselves is a still a radical idea. Who would have thought that people who want to wrap themselves in the mantle of the Founders would wind up on the side of the Monarchists?

There are times in the life of a nation when ideas and attitudes that have been part of the conventional wisdom shift and there is very little that the forces of intolerance and the status quo can do about it. It seems we are reaching that point with the issue of full rights for our gay citizens. The recent decisions in the Proposition 8 case and the Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell (DADT) policy in California point are good indicators of this change.

While neither of these cases are finished by any means (though the issue of standing is one on Prop 8 is likely to end it at the 9th Circuit Court of Appeals) the rulings by the judges in each case have been devastating to the premise that our gay citizens are some how so different from the rest of us that they can be treated with a different standard of law.

This week another case will go to trial, again, challenging the military’s DADT policy. Major Margaret Witt was an Air Force flight nurse. She was a veteran of the liberation of Kuwait, Operation Desert Storm. She also happens to be a lesbian (again and always the very least important fact about Maj. Witt, but one that too many of the more conservative of our citizens is obsessed about) .

The conservative obsession (and I think it is fair to call it an obsession) with the sex other people are having is beyond my capacity to understand. Call it self-involved if you must but I just can’t muster any interest in sex which I am not involved in. If your kink is that you like to dress like Shirley Temple and have your partner spank you with a hockey stick, as long as you are both adults and are into it, go for it. I. Don’t. Care.

Sadly the Religious Right in this country does. Whether they are just being incredibly cynical and found a relatively small group to use to whip up a frenzy among their base or they have a genuine (and let’s never forget deeply bigoted) objection based on an interpretation of their holy books, they feel like it is their job to police the actions of their fellow citizens when it comes to sexuality.

"Originally posted at Squarestate.net"

You would think that with the myriad of problems that face our country (two wars, a stagnant economy, the BP Oil disaster, climate change, etc, etc, etc) that the issue of sexuality would be one they could let slide. You would, of course, be wrong in thinking that. It seems that everyday there is some Religious Right person or group that has been captured by them (Texas Republican Platform Committee, I am looking right at you) spouts off about gay sex.

Over the last couple of days Gov. Mike Huckabee has taken some well deserved heat over his use of the phrase “ick factor” when talking about gay marriage. The whole quote was:

“I do believe that God created male and female and intended for marriage to be the relationship of the two opposite sexes. Male and female are biologically compatible to have a relationship. We can get into the ‘ick factor,’ but the fact is two men in a relationship, two women in a relationship, biologically, that doesn’t work the same.”